CAM plants are so badass. While just about every other plant in the world fucks around and throws away 97% of its water into the atmosphere by having its stomates open during the day, these BAMFs (brilliantly adapted motherfuckers) have figured out how to do all of their gas exchange at night. While everybody else is running around constantly fighting to photosynthesize, these guys just sit back, soak up the sun all day, and then turn it all into a bottomless glucosic shitshow when the sun goes down. That’s why you can find these juicy little bastards full of water in even the harshest environments. Cactus juice. It’ll quench ya.
PLEASE, MR. ANDERSEN, TRY TO REMAIN CALM. I PASS NO JUDGMENTS. I’M JUST HERE TO LISTEN. THIS IS SIMPLY A DEDICATED TIME AND PLACE FOR YOU TO EXAMINE YOUR INNER TOPOGRAPHY WITH SOMEONE WHO SHARES AN INTEREST IN YOUR FINDINGS. I’M A FELLOW EXPLORER, NOT AN ACCUSER.
NOW PLEASE, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR GROSS WEIRD HENTAI COLLECTION.